Finally at last, today I hold in my hand the notification of University declaring me to be eligible for the award of Ph. D. Degree in English Literature. Now what is the big deal about it? Don’t people get Ph.D. degrees? Yes, they do. But what makes it significant in my case is because of two reasons---that I would be turning fifty this August. And the other is that the research work has been applauded by the examiners on what it had to offer.
Leaving the academic part aside, this work has brought about significant change in my life as well and this is what I find worth recording today. I have been passing through a low phase in my working life since last few days where I had started to believe that whole of the system was manipulating against me. Now there were two options that i had--either to let the administration has its way or to protest against the system. I was in a dilemma. I wondered, is fighting against the well established system was worth the effort? Why should I take unnecessary burden? And more important was that I was angry with my own self for not being like what others were--apologetic and spineless.
It was it this stage that my research work that focused on the famous epic characters like Draupadi, Kunti etc. came to show the way out. I really felt that i would be failing in my duty if I went along with the people who accept whatever comes their way and fail to challenges of life. The example of Draupadi who fought a much established system to fight for a cause gave me inner strength.
Was I, too, not like helpless Draupadi making entreaties to everyone---the Administration, the Teachers' Association to sort out the problem and get me justice? Did not the great Bhishma say "Dharma is on the side of the powerful"? And here I was still hoping against hope that something called pricks of conscience still exist among people? I, too. had to learn the bitter lesson that it was my fight and I had to fight it alone to seek justice.
I don’t regret my decision to fight as ever since the decision, I am much at peace with myself.
And I thank my Ph.D. work for that. I never knew that I will be making use of my research work in my own life and that too so soon.
Thank you Ph.D. Degree!